loss – Becoming a Widow

Muhly Grass Blooms

This morning I almost didn’t make it out of bed again. Friday arrived while I slept and settled in with no particular mood. It was simply here, sitting in the Friday chair. I couldn’t find the anchors that were lost yesterday morning, so I had to make do with an improvised set that looked nothingContinue reading “Muhly Grass Blooms”

From Yesterday

I’m out of bed. So what? Big fucking deal. I’m back inside of day one, morning one, except this time there is no funeral to plan, no details of a military burial to go over, nothing to distract my mind from whatever the fuck place this is where nothing makes sense. Today I DoorDashedContinue reading “From Yesterday”

Doorways

Sometimes I feel like this blog should be called “Becoming a bitch: Life in the aftermath of suicide”. Or perhaps that term offends people, so I will change it to ‘Becoming an asshole after your husband kills himself”. This way people might know that becoming a widow isn’t just learning to fold this new title intoContinue reading “Doorways”

Droplets

Sometimes I see a Flying J and stopSometimes I put hazelnut in my coffee cupSometimes it’s the chill of winter’s skySometimes your eyesall the conversations kept insideAlwaysall the faces that I sometimes meetAlwaysthey are never youSometimes I see a Flying J and stop.Sometimes I put hazelnut in my coffee cupDroplets of a dreamwithout warning IContinue reading “Droplets”